Why Am I the Bad Guy

Disclaimer to my Hubby: I'm just venting, don't take offense.

Watching the television last night a preview of Hangover 2 came on, and my husband was super excited (ok so I was too). He is super excited about all the movies coming out and I had to remind him that we don't have the money to go to movies anymore, at least not in the "BIG" theater, maybe the dollar one, or even Netflix. He gets all pouty, and I feel like an ass. Thing we both want and the times I have to say no; no you can't get that CD, no you cannot buy new clothes even though things don't fit you anymore, no we cannot buy those diapers this week because we need formula more, no we can't eat out because then we won't have money to put gas in the car. I'm the bad guy, all the time and it sucks.

I'm the one who pays the bills in my house, the one who bites her nails when I'm not sure I can pay that bill in full, or that bill might be a few days late.

I'm not going to lie, we live paycheck to paycheck with very little savings. After spending what we had on the wedding, having a baby, and foolishly buying a house there isn't much there. To my credit, I actually have decent credit, because I don't have anything haunting me in that respect.

My wonderful husband has no idea the financial finagling that I do to make sure that we are current on our bills, and it's very stressful. Especially when things come up and bite us in the ass costing us more money. Like the fact we got hardly anything back on taxes, and now have another bill to pay monthly that we had planned to pay off with our taxes.

Don't get me wrong, I like managing the bills, it's a control thing. I'm actually obsessive about it so much so I check our bank account at least 2 times a day and sometimes 3 or 4, it's weird. Like some random money is going to disappear out of our account, and a check is going to bounce. I check and double check the amount of money coming in vs the amount of money going out because I have learned from my past mistakes. It's ridiculous. I also count the money thinking that magically somewhere money will appear, still hasn't happened yet by the way.
We have been lucky to not have to many issues with the house YET so it's okay on that front. Other than the possible leak in our sprinkler system.

What did I want to do with your house this year, build a deck, or at least extend the concrete pad to have more room for that company that keeps not coming over or never calls. Not going to happen this year.

I also want a new couch, new bed, replace the counter tops and cupboards in the kitchen, paint the rooms in my house, buy play set for Cole, go on a honeymoon, add sink into the master bath, have built-in bookshelves in the front room for my zillions of books, go on that cruise that all my friends have talked about after they get back from deployment, visit my ALL my brothers, his sister, his father. I could go on really, and I know I'm just bitching but I don't care.

I believe money is the root of all evil.

I also find it really funny that like 75% of my job is making sure that other people's medical bills are paid.

End note: we did talk last night and he knows that I'm not mad at him in anyway and he is not upset with me either. We talk all the time, so there are no hard feelings before we go to sleep.