The biggest thing I have learned in the 6 months I have been a Mom is it's the hardest but best "job" there is out there. I mean to have this little being rely on you for EVERYTHING in their world is a very taxing job, and it's hard sometimes because you just want a moment to yourself, or you want to clean the house but their needs come first. It's really crazy, but I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.
I thought I would never be the Mom to be prejudice and say I have the cutest baby in the WHOLE world, but I kind of am. I think that I have the cutest 6 month old boy in the world. It's hard because my friends have cute babies, and my brother has a cute baby, so I find myself making a distinction saying he is the cutest 6 month old boy, my friend Savannah's baby Adi is the cutest (almost) 6 month baby girl, Smith's 5 month old baby girl is adorable, Michaela's boy Asher is the cutest 11 month old, and my nephew Joshua is the cutest 1 year old. Or that I have some of the CUTEST nieces and nephews in the WHOLE world! It's ridiculous. But it's sooooooooo true.
I have learned that I am truly blessed in life. Not many people have the opportunity to have children, that's it's truly a blessing to be able to have and/or take care of a child that you call your own. When I found out I was pregnant I was truly upset, because I hadn't planned on this (though it had been talked about) and my unit was gearing up for deployment. It took me 2 whole weeks to come to terms with reality before I started feeling happy, about 1 week after I was feeling sick constantly may I add. I'm blessed because I had a relatively easy pregnancy, I'm blessed that though it was an Emergency C-section and Cole spent 4 days in the NICU he turned out to be a very healthy baby boy, I'm blessed that he is so easy going 95% of the time and really is so sweet. I'm blessed to have some powerful genetics on both Dan, and my side to have such a cute little boy, who has a smile that can just melt your heart and a giggle that can make you smile on your worst day. I'm blessed to have this little man in my life, and I would trade him or my husband for all the money in the world.
I have learned to ask for help when I truly need it. I am lucky enough to have my parents living with me so childcare is pretty easy to find, and lets Dan and I escape as frequently as we want. It also helps that since Cole has been up at night A LOT lately that I could rely on my parents to take the baby monitor overnight this weekend so that I could get sleep and try to function normally for drill, since Dan had a bum foot.
This is an important lesson, but at the same time it makes me feel like I'm not a good Mom, or I'm not trying hard enough. Last night for example I was up for 2-3 hours with Cole because he would not stay asleep and kept screaming his head off after a bottle, diaper change, and a little baby anbisel My Mom hears us both crying and offers to take him for me so I can get some sleep. But I refuse, because I think that I'm not trying hard enough. I look at some of my friends like Jennifer who has 3 kids and a husband out to sea for a few months, my friend Reese who has two boys and Josh who is overseas, my friend Savannah who is a first time Mom much like me with Kyle overseas, Heather, Smith, all of those guys who have 3-4 kids at home without a spouse. Here I am being a big baby with one child, and three other people at home. So I find myself tired and exhausted because I have to be able to do this if these other strong women in my life are doing the same thing. They are all good Mom's, and kudos goes to them.
Patience is definitely I virtue I haven't had much of, but I'm slowly learning the importance. It's actually help me slow down my life a little bit. For a person always rushing through things, it was really hard to sit there and nurse followed by bottle feeding Cole until he was full and/or asleep. I used to get so frustrated so easily, and not that I don't anymore, it's just slower coming on and easier for me to control.
Routine is KEY is raising a child, and don't move things around because that will really screw with your child's mind. Dan and I usually have set days we put Cole to bed, Dan has Sunday, Mondays, Thursdays, while I have Tuesday, Wednesdays, we switch up Friday's and Saturdays depending on what's going on. And obviously we switch that up if I have a test, or one of us is tired. But it's the same thing every night (with Bath night thrown in 3 nights a week) diaper changed, pajamas on, little quiet play time until he gets crank, book, bottle and then bed with his seahorse. He is pretty easy to put to bed 95% of the time and I love it. I also recently rearranged his room because we have a bookcase that made the floor creak by his crib waking him up 3/4 of the time. So I moved things around in his room and no more creaky floor, but for the first few days following I think that was what was keeping him up. It's crazy!
I know I have a zillion and one more things to learn about being a Mom, because I've been one for a whole 2 seconds, but I have learned a few things, and it's not easy.
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8 comments:
you are an amazing mom and an amazing person! Thank you! Cole is the luckiest 6 month old boy ever!! :)
LOL!! Thanks!!
Thanks for the shout out in this blog post Missy! But, just because you have three other people in your home to help you, doesnt mean you are giving up if you accept some of thier help. I think you are doing a fantastic job being Coles mommy! I know how challenging it can be the first time around, and with a baby under one that doesnt sleep thru the night on a normal basis. Keep it up lady and keep your head up!
:)
Aww, you’re sweet to shout out to me in your post. But being the smartass that I am I have to point out that your typo gave me a giggle and you would, indeed, trade your boys for all the money in the world. I know it’s not true, but it gave me a giggle anyway because I’m a nerd and find typos funny.
Of course you’ll think that you have the cutest baby in the world. You’re his mom and that’s the way it should be. You’re completely in love in with him as mothers should be with their babies. I think mine’s the cutest. I could be totally ticked off at the world and then he’ll give me his toothy grin and excited giggle and it all goes away. It’s awesome.
Being a new mom is hard. I remember what it was like when I had Nicole. I was always fretting over everything. Is she eating enough? Is she eating too much? What do the contents of this diaper mean? Am I playing with her enough? Am I holding her too much? Should I take her to the doctor’s for this rash? And No, don’t put that in your mouth! I’d wake at her slightest movement in the night and rock and feed and hold her until she fell back asleep. Cry it out was so hard. I’d get upset every time she’d cry.
So we fall on comparing to other moms to see how we’re stacking up, and while that can be helpful it can be really detrimental to our self esteem, too.
My secret? I’m a slacker. A totally unapologetic unrelenting slacker. That leaf he picked up and ate off the ballet studio floor? Whatever, he’ll probably eat worse. In fact his sister has licked the walls of public bathrooms and not fallen ill, he’ll be fine. His rashes will go away. Cry it out? No problem. I’ll check on you in 20 minutes. Now I’m lucky if I hear him cry in the middle of the night and he sleeps in the playpen right next to my head. Now he’s taken to pulling my hair to get me up. If he stays awake after I nurse him? Back into the playpen with you and I’ll sleep through the crying because I’m that tired.
Relaxing is a learned skill and it doesn’t come easy, but you’re doing great! You have a job, the military, and you’re a new mom and wife. It’s a lot and you’re doing great.
you wouldn't believe it but I tried to make that comment 4 times yesterday and goggle ate it every damm time. Oh, one more thing. Do yourself a favor and avoid any news item relating to children. It will not improve your day and most of the time you can't help, so avoid avoid avoid.
LOL!! I didn't realize that I said I would trade them!! Heehee!! Yeah, I was just on a roll yesterday but that didn't include my typing skills!!
Thanks for the words, it means a lot. I know that as Mom's we all compare ourselves, and sometimes I care and other times I don't. I don't think I'm quite as bad as new Mom's. Hell I let the damn dog lick Cole's hands just because I know that I can't prevent that all the time, and a dogs mouth is cleaner than ours and I nibble on his fingers on occasion. Plus I was trying to keep him on a blanket on the floor so that he wouldn't ingest dog hair until my Mom reminded me he will be cruising around the whole house soon putting far worse things in his mouth!
Being a Mom is definitely interesting.
Not a problem. Well except for the whole google eating my replies. That was a problem. He will, indeed, eat much worse. Lilly would find cigarette butts outside and eat them. So nasty. And she had a brief stint as a magnet. That kid and her oral fixations have really fixed me of some of my ocd.
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