I'm a Bit of a Mental Case

No, I should not be locked up in a Psychiatric Hospital.

Okay maybe sometimes.

What I mean is I am my own worst enemy.

This post came to me while talking to the hubby last night about our run that morning.  I was telling him that when I woke up (0530!!) I was not looking forward to the run.  Which didn't make a dang bit of sense to me because all we were doing was a 2.5 mile run.

2.5 miles......  Hello Missy, you ran 13.1! It should be a walk in the park!

That's why it's all mental for me. I know I can do it, and have been doing this for 2 years now.  So why am I still psyching myself out.

The answer is I don't know.

Sometimes I watch the Biggest Loser and see these contestants break down and finally realize why they beat themselves up, and wish I could spend a month with Jillian so I can have the same epiphany (well and lose weight too).

I had amazing parents who always were there for me, being my biggest cheerleaders.

I was kind of a nerd in High School with my 3.8 (Government and History ruined the 4.0), and I was picked on through out elementary and middle school.  But I'm sure I'm not that messed up from it.

So I am not sure where this all comes from.

What's even worse is it really affects my college GPA, because I get horrid test anxiety. Same thing with getting my EMT certification, I had to take the written test 4 TIMES until I finally passed. Each time I had to do the hands on portion which I passed with flying colors.

Military physical fitness tests??  I've actually made myself ill a few times worrying about it. We call it the PT monster.

It's one of those things that truly is a mystery to me and I'm not sure I will ever figure it all out.