Worrywart to the Max

I hate having medical knowledge, it seriously messes with my head when I really wouldn't want it to.

Sunday night lil man slipped in the tub hitting his head.  My heart literally stopped, especially when he did the deep breath, and then nothing for like 30 seconds-1 minute.  I freaked calling for someone to come upstairs. Unfortunately that finally freaked him out to start crying and then he wanted nothing to do with me.  He wouldn't let Grandma let him go.  We finally got him dressed and downstairs, but during this time he had blood come out of his nose.  That worried me!  I checked his pupil response a zillion times, and watched as he walked around but I still didn't feel reassured that he was ok. 
I decided to call our doctor and spoke to a nurse that recommended taking him in.  We did and the doctor checked him out and said that a CT was not indicated.  I still was worried because all I could think about was the kid in my brother's 1st grade class who had a similar fall on the basketball court and died a few hours later. Or that actress who hit a tree, was fine and then died.  It happens all the time, and studying the medical stuff, and reading the books all I can think about is the worst case scenario.
Needless to say when lil man woke me up at 1 a.m., I was ecstatic, didn't even get frustrated when I didn't get back to bed until 230 a.m.  Was even more happy to hear him calling Mama at 730 a.m.

I love my lil man with all of my heart and soul, and I couldn't imagine life without him.  I hate reading stories on the internet, and hearing the heartache that some parents go through when they lose a child.  I scares me so much.  I know we can't protect them all the time, and that God has his own plan.  Believe me I know!  It still scares me to think about it.

On a happier note I would like to say that sometimes I like it when he doesn't fall asleep right away because that means I can sit with him in the rocking chair in the dark and just zone out.  I love having his little arms wrapped around my neck and just listening to his lullaby CD.  It is seriously the most peaceful time, and I love it!

This is why life is a roller coaster, there are the ups and downs and you never know what's going to happen next.