Military Career at Stake

I didn't weigh myself today, I didn't want a blatant reminder that I haven't worked out since last Monday.

I seriously messed up my back last Tuesday, and I found it hard to even pick up my son, or even bend over to pick up his toys.  It's better, but not great, so I'm just going to get back into the workout thing and pray that it doesn't act up to bad. 

I got a gentle reminder that my year of leeway in not passing weight is approaching in June.  For those of you who don't know, to be in the military you have to meet certain physical fitness standards.  I can pass my Physical Fitness test, twice actually.  I just can't seem to meet the military weight standards.  For my height the military says I should weigh 166 lbs.  I have NEVER met the weight standards, but seeing how not all of us have Barbie Doll figures they have a body taping system that makes up for that.

Right now I don't meet the taping standards, I have about 20 lbs or so to lose, and about 2-3% body fat to lose in order to make it.  If I don't meet the standards I will be processed for a discharge out of the military.

It's very disheartening to know that, come April I will have been in for 13 years, and to get kicked out would be devastating. Loss of benefits, loss of a job, and loss of respect for myself.

You may be asking, well why the heck aren't you trying harder??  I don't know. I feel like I'm giving it 95%, which isn't good enough, but at least I'm trying.

It's very hard for me to live with this hanging over my head.  It makes me feel like the NCO that shouldn't get any respect.  It's ridiculous.

My goals this week are to get back into working out and increasing my time to 45 minutes of cardio/strength at least 5 days a week.  I plan on increasing my run distance to 3 miles come Wednesday the 1st of February.  I also am planning on watching my dinner time intake, because that is my weakness.  I'm usually starving by then so I eat to much and blow the hard work from the entire day.

Wish me luck. I need to kick this plateau in the Arse!!

Down For the Count

I still didn't lose any weight last week. Bummer.

I think it's a portion control thing at dinner and on the weekends.  I tend to get out of hand when it comes to dinner because I'm usually starving from watching my portions all day. 

Weekends are my nemesis, I find it's easier to workout, but it's not easy eating.

That is my goal this week, maintain portion control.

Unfortunately I tweaked my back yesterday so my workouts this week will probably be nil until it feels better.

Lifting one tiny little suitcase into the back of the car and WHAMO my back pops and I feel searing white hot pain.  Needless to say it's not fun trying to tote around 26+ lb son around the house and up the stairs when you can barely stand straight.

It hurts something fierce!

It's better today than it was yesterday, hopefully by the weekend I'll be able to workout again. 

I'm getting old!

Good luck to everyone who is on their own weight loss journey.

Eating is my Nemisis

This is totally going to be a whiny and complaint filled post.

First, I am glad that it snowed because we needed the moisture.

But it sucks because I couldn't run outside today and I HATE RUNNING ON THE TREADMILL!!  Time goes by so much faster when I run in my neighborhood.  I tune out the world a lot better when I have scenery rather than the fugly guys at the gym and the TV.

Second, I hate monitoring my calorie intake.

The last three months have been glorious eating whatever and working out, helped me maintain my weight. 

Now I'm trying to lose weight again, I am reminded how much I hate monitoring my food intake.

My problem is by the middle of the day I start getting hungry, which leads to a headache, and 85% of the time leads to nausea. 

I eat 6 small meals a day, and I make sure I have protein with each meal (because the healthy gods have determined that protein helps you feel full longer).  Well that doesn't work.

An example.....  One of my favorite snacks is a piece of fruit and some cheese, anther is fruit and peanut butter.  I eat it and I kid you not 30 minutes later I'm hungry again.  I try to ignore it and chug water.  What happens??? Headache worsens and stomach gets crampy. 

Case in point, yesterday morning I was waiting for my 2 meal and I got so nauseous I actually thought I was going to throw up, and it had only been 2.5 hours since I had eaten last.

I'm at a loss as to what I do.  I get ridiculously grumpy and feel like crap.  I went to bed at 8 last night because I felt like crap and I didn't want to eat anything because I didn't wait to break the no food past 7 rule. :(

Seventeen and a Half Mile and Counting

I have discovered a new love like for running.  I have logged 17.5 miles in since the 1st of the year and I feel like I have accomplished something.  My plan is to stick to 2.5 miles for January and increase it by half a mile every month.  I haven't had to much of my usual shin splint pain, except this morning. It worries me a bit, but I will keep on trucking and hopefully it doesn't get worse.

I got up at 430 this morning to run in my neighborhood, much to my husbands disappointment.  It was hard to get my body moving this morning, and it was colder without the sunshine.  But it's nice that I have my workout, minus the strength workout, done for the day.  My husband doesn't like that I run in the dark, but I had my reflective belt and didn't have both ear buds in, just in case.  Poor guy worries about me to much, but I love that he does.

I again did not lose any weight, but I'm maintaining the 216 lbs, so I guess I should be happy I'm not gaining weight.  I know that it's my eating, and that is the hardest thing for me sometimes.  This weeks goals are to lessen the amount of processed sugar, and to not eat after 7, except for a dessert nights once a week.

I'm just going to keep on keeping on and try my hardest to not give up.  My military career depends on it.

Running Is Getting Better

I realized something pretty awesome today. For the last two weeks I have been running 2.5 miles three times a week!

So my monthly goals will increase a half a mile at the beginning of the month. This should enable me to be able to run a 5K come May pretty easily.

Maybe even a half marathon in the fall? Hmmmmmmmmm

Anyone have a team I can join for the Susan B Komen Race for the Cure?

School Hard

Life has been good since fall semester ended in December.  I have been able to go to work do my work, goof off 25% of the time, and then go home and enjoy my family.  It's been FANTASTIC! 

Not worrying about having to work on school, worry about how much time I spend with my lil man, enjoying movie nights with the hubby, and cleaning my house all at the same time instead of certain areas every weekend or so. 

I have also been able to cook, and cook a lot!  My Dad and Mom do most of the cooking because I don't get home until 530, so instead of having to cook, they let me enjoy time with my lil man.  It's been a godsend having them live with us. 

This is all coming to an end next week, when the semester starts.  I embark on part two of my A&P class and my dreaded Organic Chemistry class.  I keep telling myself that I survived last semester, so I will this semester too. Right?? We will see, here is wishing me luck.

Scale Junky

Scale junky [skeyl juhng-kee] noun
1.  One that weighs self on a daily basis, hoping miracles of all miracles happen and 20 lbs dropped from the day before.

I Melissa Sue Spencer, am a Scale Junky. 

Ok maybe a reformed scale junky.  Last year I would weigh myself on daily basis until I made the hubby hide the scale. Now, I just weigh myself on days that I either feel fat or unusually skinny. Should be everyday on the fat side, but some days I don't care.

Sunday I was feeling unusually fat, so I weighed before I went to drill, and it read 219.0! Really after busting my ass all week I gained three pounds. WTF!!!  This morning I weighed myself again, hoping to feel better about myself and it read 216.8. 

So I lost nothing last week, but it's probably because I still am not eating TOTALLY right.  I'm still having problems resisting an Oreo cookie here and there or other things that still linger in the house.  I'm working it, truly, I just love to eat like a fat kid.

I did make my goal of 5 days a week working out, and I will continue to do so.

I am still working on the eating slower, I did pretty good last week, but there were a couple of times either because I was really hungry or really liked what I was eating that I wolfed it down.  I eat way to fast sometimes.

This weeks goals are:
1.  To not let more than 1 day lapse between workouts. I know that I need to take time off, but I once read somewhere that you should only have one day of rest, and no more.  I pretty much did that last week, but I need to continue with it.
2.  I really only did cardio last week because it's easiest and more convenient for me to do, I hate strength training.  My goal is to throw in the strength training.

Here is to week two of 2012.

Random Thoughts on Working Out/Being Healthy

This is just going to be me randomly putting my thoughts out there.

First thought:  They recommend at least eight 8oz glasses of water a day to be healthy. I think it's just a way to keep you getting up and down off your butt to go to the bathroom and get more water.  I am constantly up and down getting water or peeing!!

Second thought:  I love working out now (biggest problem is time and convenience but that's another blog). I also love/hate the sore muscles you have afterwards. I love it because you know you did a good job and made a difference.  I hate being sore.

Anyone else agree with me on this?

That's all!!

Happy New Year!!

Wowzer!! October...it's been awhile since I've been on here. Whoops!!

I've been inspired by Evelyn to restart talking about my weight loss progress.

Lets just say I didn't fall off the workout wagon.  I continued (until three weeks ago) workout out 4-5 days a week, but I wasn't so vigilant on my eating. 

What's my weight now?  216.4 as of yesterday morning, so that's only about a 4 lb weight gain. 

My official tally for last year was 23 lbs lost.  It doesn't seem like a whole lot, but I realized that I lost it and kept it off and that's the most important part. 

I took a workout sabbatical after school got out, it was only supposed to be only two weeks, but the stomach bug hit our house HARD last week so it was difficult to find time or energy to workout.

I have a new plan this year, not as a resolution but to just get healthier and make weight so I don't kicked out of the military.  To kick start it this year I'm going to make 2 small changes a week, instead of just straight changing all the bad habits I've rediscovered over the last couple of months.  Small goals that I can incorporate and hopefully make them last.

This weeks goals are to go back to working out at least 5 days a week at a minimum of 30 minutes, and eat slower to allow myself to feel full.
Yesterdays running was awesome, the weather wasn't to cold so it was enjoyable.  I ran/walked for about 40 minutes.  I think I did ok with eating slower, even left food on my plate!!

My goals for the year are:
1) Make my military weight by my 30th birthday. (February 13th, 2012).
2) Finally make it under the 200 lb mark by my 2nd Wedding Anniversary. (March 27th, 2012).
3) Toss around the idea of running at least a 5K this year. (any takers to do this with me?)
4) Score higher than 210 on my PT test this year.
5) Be at a comfortable weight by Cole's 2nd Birthday, whatever that may be. (October 21st, 2010).

They are not lofty goals, just attainable. We will see how it goes. Wish me luck!!

New Year, New Possibilities



It's officially 2012, and I have realized I have severely neglected my blog.

Is anyone still reading this? ...... Anyone???

Oh well, I'm still going to use this as an outlet of what's going on in my head, which is pretty scary sometimes.

What's happened since October??? I passed O Chem by the skin of my teeth! I also got a C in Anatomy, but it's because I put so much effort into O Chem, and it was worth it.  I did get a B in O Chem lab, and an A in my Nonfiction Writing class.  All in all not one of my finer semesters but definitely not my worst (can we say first semester best grade a C?).

My Dad got disability so he is officially retired.  It's a good thing because he feels like he is contributing to the family, and is getting paid to watch his grandson.  Dad's health is questionable at times, but we take it one day at a time.  We have to deal with some major things in the future, and I'm worried.  I'm there for my Mom and Dad, and that's all that matters right now.

My brothers are doing fairly decent.  There is some stuff that is not appropriate for the blogosphere, but we will just leave it as people aren't always forthcoming about who they are.  I love my brothers and I am here for them.  As evidenced by taking in my younger brother's two dogs for a time.  It's made life a lot crazier at times, but knowing that my brother doesn't have to worry about their well being makes me happy.

I recently lost a best friend, not in the other worldy sense, but in the dropped off their friends list.  I'm not entirely sure what happened, but I know I wasn't the best in keeping in contact.  It's not entirely my fault I know that, but it's for the best.  It wasn't the best relationship for the last couple of years.

All my friends returned home from their deployment, and safely I might add.  It's nice to know that they are home now, even if I don't get to see them a whole lot.

My goals for 2012:
1)  To just let things roll. I dwell on things to much sometimes, and I'm tired of it stressing.
2) Survive the 2nd semester of Organic Chemistry
3) Just live life, it's the end of the world on the 21st of December after all
4) Say goodbye to my 20's
5) Lose the last 20-30 lbs

I also hope to blog at least once a week. I know I will never make it everyday, especially with school, but once a week should be sufficient.

Hope everyone enjoyed their holidays!  Lets jump in to 2012!