I'm Alive?

Check... 1...2...3  Check *tapping the mike*
Is this thing still on? Can anyone still hear me?

I'm still here, I'm still fighting the battle of the waist line. Where have you been?

I have found myself over the last week or two attempting to start writing on this blog again.  Part of me didn't want to because I'm not sure anyone reads this anymore, and part of me just doesn't want to admit partial failure.  Yes ladies and gents, I'm a bit of a failure.

My weight as of yesterday on the scale was 217.8.  I have been fluctuating between the 212-217 mark since about June last year.  This means that although I lost weight and I was down to 209, it came back.

I kept telling myself I was doing everything right and that I should be losing weight.  Reflecting on the last year I realized that running doesn't fix everything, and doesn't help lose weight if that is the only thing you are doing.  Don't get me wrong I was not pigging out on cheeseburgers, cakes, and soda daily; but I was giving in to those temptations at least weekly. Bowl of Ice cream here, cookies there. Uggggg...  My problem was that I would be good ALL day long but once I was home and lil man was down for the count I would give in, because I needed to relax and eating helped me do that.

I ran almost 400 miles last year, and I'm so incredibly proud of that.  I accomplished five 5k's, a 10K, and a Half Marathon.  I plan on repeating that this year.  But I also plan on incorporating weights and weight training instead of just running 4-5 days a week.  I've been getting my butt kicked by Jillian off and on the last 3 weeks, and have committed myself to completing the whole 90 day program starting Monday (I actually started yesterday but I tacked on half a week as I didn't want to wait to start).  I also am posting my pictures of myself below, to keep me accountable. They aren't pretty so don't scroll more if you don't want to see me in my partial birthday suit glory.

Another accomplishment for last year is that I finally quit smoking just after my son turned 2.  It feels amazing and I actually feel better and not so draggy anymore.

I really want to get below 200 this year. I'm not giving myself a time limit, because I think it will add less stress.

Part of my stress is I found myself back on the Army Weight Control Program this past October. Which has jeopardized my military career.  I actually had to have a discharge packet put through to kick me out of the Army because I did not meet the standards again (I missed it by 1 freaking inch, 1 percentage of body fat).  Part of me wished that they had kicked me out, because I feel without that added stress I would lose weight easier.  Lets face it I'm a working soldier/student/wife/Mom/and partial caretaker.  I have a lot of stress, and something has to give.  Hopefully I can finally dig deep and find that motivation to get this done.  I'm mostly fit, but I'm still fat. I want to be comfortably me and fit.

I find inspiration in people like; Evelyn, Mama Laughlin, and, fatchicktofitchick.  I read their blogs (at least when they do blog) daily.  These women are freaking awesome and have lost so much weight, and I keep telling me I will be like that someday.

So in reviving my blog, I hope that I can inspire other people. Or at least just keep myself accountable.