Feeling Shameful

Confessional:  I have only worked out twice in the last two weeks.

There I said it, I confessed, I've been sort of a lazy bum.

I say sort of because the hubby and I walk a mile every night atleast 5 days a week. We bumped it up to 1.5 miles this week.

Really though, I'm tired.
Tired of being tired.
Tired of getting only maybe 6 hours of sleep to fit in working out, school, work, and time with my family.
Tired of being sore.
Tired of getting up well before the sun starts shining.
Tired of sacrificing my time with family.
Tired of sacrificing time studying.

Don't get me wrong, I still enjoy working out. It is still my release from the stress of life.

I ran 3 times that week after making weight for the military. Last week? I decided I need to focus on closing out the semester well, and getting my head in the game. My grades have suffered while I have killed myself to make military weight. It's scary I went from being on the Deans list in College with a 3.6 to barely grasping onto a 3.0.  Not all of it has been the weight loss journey, it did start with the military wanting to deploy me, but the man upstairs had different plans.

I find that I'm enjoying getting 7-8 hours of sleep, I don't feel so foggy headed all the time. I ran on Tuesday, and really enjoyed it.

This morning I was supposed to run with a friend, but I bailed because it was windy. Half-assed a P90X workout.

I think the 5K will refocus my mind.
I hope so anyways.
I'm hoping after being a week past the semester I will feel more rested, and more apt to get out of bed.

FYI: I've maintained my weight at 209-210, so obviously I learned something in my journey. I'm not gorging myself.  I just know I will be happier when I lose ~20 more lbs. Which should be easier for me, because it's FOR ME! 

I will refocus, may just take me longer.