Confessions and Inspirations

A very bad picture update. 

Lets face it I'm not really good at the self taking pictures in the mirror, specially with my iPhone. I did it better with the droid.

I definitely feel smaller than before, and the interesting part is I never thought I would be one of those people who could wear leggings, but I am. So much more comfy and cooler than the jeans I've always worn.

Unfortunately I did not weigh myself this morning, I kind of just rolled out of bed and went for a run. I have found that now I'm at military standards, I don't feel the need to weigh myself all the time anymore. It's a freeing feeling really.

I will admit that for the next 3 weeks,that the weight loss thing is going to take a backseat to school. Hope this isn't a disappointment to anyone. I will however, continue to run 3 times a week and go for my nightly walks with the hubby, and maintain the best eating habits as possible. Finals are coming up and I need to not stress on more than one thing right now.

I'll still give you updates, no worries there!

Oh, I signed up for the City of Trees half marathon for October 14th. EEEEEeeeeep!!  Scary, but I'm really excited. I have lots of 5K's and a few 10K's planned to prepare.  I feel the need to redeem myself, as I signed up for the half marathon a few years ago, and chickened out. Let someone take my place, because I was lazy. That's not going to happen this time.

I do have a few shout outs to a couple of people who are seriously inspiring!
     First off my friend Kristina kicked butt this weekend in the Pat Tilman Shadow Run, she took 3rd place!!
     Other shout out goes to Evelyn who has lost 81.6 lbs in less than a year! She is truly an inspiration.
Both ladies are pretty darn inspiring, and it's good to be surrounded by this awesomeness.

Hope you can find that inspiring person in your life!!

It's Not Easy But It Can Be Done

That's right ladies and gentlemen, I passed Army HT/WT this weekend!

By the skin of my teeth, but I passed!!

Woohoo!! Happy Dance!!!

This weekend was drill and it was the dreaded 100% HT/WT for the company. I went in without a single morsel of food, coffee, or even water. I had a piece of gum to give me a slight sugar boost. Because I had to grade a PT test before getting taped.

It was a glorious feeling to see that "Soldier meets standards" on that little piece of paper. Even though it still says that I'm 42 lbs over the standard weight for my height. Those 2 numbers 34% say I meet the taping standards.

But this does not mean I am done by any means! I still have 15-20 more lbs that I would like to lose. This time it will really be for me and without the stress. I feel like this huge weight has come off my shoulders. This is all for me now!

This last little bit is a shout out for another soldier who used to be in my squad...
     You can lose the weight after baby. You may not be at the weight that the Army says, but if you meet the PT and tape standards that is all that is needed.  I have been in the military for 13 years and have never been at the standard weight. It's a joke really, and they need to update it.
     The weight can come off even with orthopedic, thyroid, and time issues. I am proof that with moderately hard work (cuz I took to many breaks in between) that it can happen. Don't get discouraged, just jump right back in with more vigour if you have a bad day, or if you slip. You can do this!

Oh and I forgot to do weight this morning. Last weigh in Friday was 210.2, a little more than last week but it's probably just water weight.

Startling Revelation

I was pondering yesterday about my pre-Cole weight and I realized I am only a few pounds away from that mark!!

If I remember correctly I was at 205 when I found out I was pregnant, but continued to try to lose weight and got down to 202 before I was put on a profile for the military.

I am about 4 lbs away from pre-pregnancy weight!!! OMG!!  I'm hoping the meet that goal by the time Cole is 18 months which is 11 days from now.  I'm going to try my hardest.

Yay me!!!

Slowly Coming Along

My weight for this week: 209.0!!! Woooohooo!!

It surprises me a bit because I did not work out AT ALL last week.

Mom says that like anything when your body experiences a change sometimes that helps to bust through a plateau.

If that's true, I'm about to bust through again this week.  I'm jumping in with both feet this week and getting back into the swing of things. It will definitely help improve my mood, hubby has noticed more grumpy Missy lately.

My plan is to get in two workouts at least 4 days a week.  I will do my normal cardio or running during the day and get in an at home workout in. I realized that the best time for me to do Jillian's 30 day shred or Insanity is right before bed. May not be the best thing for sleeping, but I'm going to try it. There is that time that hubby is doing dishes and everyone else is in bed, so I can get some exercise in. I'm going to try it out this week and see how it goes.

This weekend I have drill and it's the weekend where EVERYONE is getting height/weight measurements. I hate it so bad. The problem i was talking about this morning with a friend of mine is how messed up the body fat taping is. The Army measure's your percentage based on three measurements: your neck, the smallest part of your waist, and the most protruding part of your hips.

It's frigging ridiculous how inaccurate that is. I have a tiny neck, with a hourglass shape....so my tiny neck doesn't give me ANY leeway on my hips. I have Mediterranean, womanly, child-bearing hips. It screws me every time. The only thing that saves me most of the time (but not currently) is I have a decently smallish waist for a woman my size. Flip....it's what I dread with a passion.

I'll let you know next week how everything goes.

Tired, Disgruntled, Worn Out

My whine-a-thon continues onto this blog.

I have just had up to here (hands over my head) with school. 

By the time I graduate in 2014 I will have been in school for 11 years. Ok, so it's not a consistent 11 years but forever nonetheless.
I completed most of 2 semesters Fall 03-Spring04. Came back after Iraq deployment in Fall 06, Spring 07, Fall 07, Spring 08, Fall 08, Spring 09 is where I completed my Associates in Criminal Justice. Fall 09 was mostly a bust because I really only completed 2 classes, because I failed the other because of training for a deployment. Spring 2010 was also a bust because I only completed 1 of 2 classes I signed up for, the online class was easy to complete, but my morning sickness/migraines kicked my butt. Went back to school Spring 11 taking only a couple of classes to find my groove. Completed a crappy Fall 2011, and now in the midst of a crappy Spring 12.

So if I discount the first two semesters, because I retook most of those classes anyways, along with my busted semesters I've been in school for 4 years, 6.5 when I actually complete my degree.

I'm so burnt out though. I feel like it's not getting me anywhere. It's so bad that since we have come back from Spring break I haven't even attended classes yet. I've done some reading and completed assignments, but I just don't flipping care anymore.

I would just be happier being a working Mom right now. 

But I CANNOT throw away all that time I have put in.  I'm not that type of person.

Oh, and I applied for the Deputy Coroner for Ada County position. I was told that it wouldn't look bad if I did; I have an Associates, have 11+ years of medical experience, combat experience, and military behind me. But I didn't even get a flipping call. Grrrr...

I love my family, my friends that talk to me, and just my regular life; if you subtract the pressure for military weight standards and school.

I love seeing how my son has gotten to be such an independent little man, and how smart he is. He makes everything better when I come home, but when I put him down for bed, reality smacks me in the face.

I know there are much worse things out there I could be dealing with. Don't remind me, I see some of the stuff on the news, the things the soldiers I help deal with, and so much more. But dangit I can complain right!?

There is a light at the end of the tunnel, I just have to find it. Maybe even open my eyes to see it.

Whiny Alert!

Just a warning, this post is about to be EXTREMELY whiny. Turn back now if you don't care, or don't want to hear it.

I have not worked out since Friday, it's Wednesday.  In my defense I have been sick, and I'm not one of those people who can workout while they are sick. I have still done the nightly 20-30 minute walk with my hubby and the dog.  Unfortunately, that makes me all sweaty, hot, and winded.

Really? The girl who ran a 5K recently and can run 4 miles??  I hate being sick, I lose all motivation for anything.

Another thing, I haven't gone to class at all this week. Last week was Spring Break, and I think I rather enjoyed that schedule of getting up, working out, working, and then going home.

Want to know what my schedule is like on a typical day???...
Get up at 0445, decide if I want to work out now or later, shower, go to work, change for school, go to school, hit the gym if didn't hit it in the morning, go back to work to shower, then work, then make it home ~515. Have dinner, go for walk, play with my son, put him to bed, watch a show with the hubby, go to bed.
Repeat.   Some times I leave work early and go run.

I hate running back and forth from school to work and back again....I just want to work out, work and be home.

The worst part about this is I'm coming up on 13 years in the military on Friday, and it's also hanging over my head if I don't lose this last 2% of body fat, they are going to boot me out. 

Part of me doesn't give a darn tootin anymore. I consider myself pretty fit, I can climb 3 or 4 flights of stairs without being winded. I can run 4 miles and not feel like I was hit by a bus. I can pass my Army fitness test. But noooooo...they tell me for my height I must be 166 lbs. Really??? I haven't weighed that since high school. If I were to weigh that much I would look horrid.

The other part of me, the part who has dedicated 13 years of my life is fighting.  Fighting what seems to be a losing battle. I've only lost 7 lbs since January. I don't know what to do anymore. I would love to change up my routine, but did you see my schedule. There isn't much room for that, or money for it either.

I'm mostly happy with my body, I would be happier if I could lose about 15-20 more lbs, but at the same time I feel 95% happy with the way I look.  Unfortunately, if I want to stay in the military I have to lose about 10 more lbs to make the body fat percentage.  June is looming in pretty closely.

I just want to scream.

Short and Sweet

I missed last week because I PIGGED out over my anniversary weekend. Thankfully I only gained like half a pound. But I was feeling guilty and decided to not share it with you.

This last week was spring break, I did pretty well. I was down to 210.2 this morning. Unfortunately I have a cold that I can't breathe out of my nose and I feel like I'm in a wind tunnel because my ears are all plugged up. So I'm not sure how well my workouts are going to go for the first couple of days this week. I didn't work out the last 2 days...cept for a 20 minute walk yesterday.

Kind of disappointing....