Military Ridiculousness

Weigh-in tomorrow. A little nervous.

This first phase is starting to be easy, which is why I'm glad this program ups the workouts every two weeks.  This means next week I kick it up a notch.  More so than this week where I'm adding in an extra 30-45 minutes a day for three days. 

I'm anxious for it to warm up.  Dumped 6 inches of snow yesterday in Idaho.  Which means a week or two before the snow disappears enough for me to run.

In other news:  the military has ridiculous standards.

I've said it before and I'll say it time and time again  until I'm done with the military or they are done with me.

The military requires you to weigh a certain amount, for my height 68" and my age almost 31, I need to weight 166. Really? I would look like a horrid, stick figure.  If you don't meet the weight requirement, then they do a Body Fat Percentage based on certain measurements.  For women they measure neck (I have ridiculous small neck), the waist at the smallest point, and the hips at the most prominent part.

Hello!!!  I have classic hourglass figure (looks better when I'm in shape).  So the measurements SUCK big time.

My theory is that if you can pass your PT test, with a certain score (say 200/300) and no injuries the weight shouldn't be a big deal. I rocked my PT test in October.

All complaints aside, I know I need to lose more weight, but for goodness sake it puts an incredible amount of stress on me. Sometimes I wonder.

See you tomorrow for weight update!

I'm Alive?

Check... 1...2...3  Check *tapping the mike*
Is this thing still on? Can anyone still hear me?

I'm still here, I'm still fighting the battle of the waist line. Where have you been?

I have found myself over the last week or two attempting to start writing on this blog again.  Part of me didn't want to because I'm not sure anyone reads this anymore, and part of me just doesn't want to admit partial failure.  Yes ladies and gents, I'm a bit of a failure.

My weight as of yesterday on the scale was 217.8.  I have been fluctuating between the 212-217 mark since about June last year.  This means that although I lost weight and I was down to 209, it came back.

I kept telling myself I was doing everything right and that I should be losing weight.  Reflecting on the last year I realized that running doesn't fix everything, and doesn't help lose weight if that is the only thing you are doing.  Don't get me wrong I was not pigging out on cheeseburgers, cakes, and soda daily; but I was giving in to those temptations at least weekly. Bowl of Ice cream here, cookies there. Uggggg...  My problem was that I would be good ALL day long but once I was home and lil man was down for the count I would give in, because I needed to relax and eating helped me do that.

I ran almost 400 miles last year, and I'm so incredibly proud of that.  I accomplished five 5k's, a 10K, and a Half Marathon.  I plan on repeating that this year.  But I also plan on incorporating weights and weight training instead of just running 4-5 days a week.  I've been getting my butt kicked by Jillian off and on the last 3 weeks, and have committed myself to completing the whole 90 day program starting Monday (I actually started yesterday but I tacked on half a week as I didn't want to wait to start).  I also am posting my pictures of myself below, to keep me accountable. They aren't pretty so don't scroll more if you don't want to see me in my partial birthday suit glory.

Another accomplishment for last year is that I finally quit smoking just after my son turned 2.  It feels amazing and I actually feel better and not so draggy anymore.

I really want to get below 200 this year. I'm not giving myself a time limit, because I think it will add less stress.

Part of my stress is I found myself back on the Army Weight Control Program this past October. Which has jeopardized my military career.  I actually had to have a discharge packet put through to kick me out of the Army because I did not meet the standards again (I missed it by 1 freaking inch, 1 percentage of body fat).  Part of me wished that they had kicked me out, because I feel without that added stress I would lose weight easier.  Lets face it I'm a working soldier/student/wife/Mom/and partial caretaker.  I have a lot of stress, and something has to give.  Hopefully I can finally dig deep and find that motivation to get this done.  I'm mostly fit, but I'm still fat. I want to be comfortably me and fit.

I find inspiration in people like; Evelyn, Mama Laughlin, and, fatchicktofitchick.  I read their blogs (at least when they do blog) daily.  These women are freaking awesome and have lost so much weight, and I keep telling me I will be like that someday.

So in reviving my blog, I hope that I can inspire other people. Or at least just keep myself accountable.

I'm Still Trucking Along

Wow! I hadn't realized that it had been almost 2 months since my last posting!

I have to say that I somehow found my loving feeling again for running. Maybe because we abolished the tank trail and added the Beautiful Greenbelt instead. Maybe I pulled my head out of my third point of contact.

Either way I have actually come a long way since July.

Last week I attended the Pocatello Marathon, and completed my very first 10K. My official time was 1:11:30.18. My goal was to run it under 1:15, and I did!! I finished and that's the best part!

Today I ran 7 miles, much slower than last week but it was much hillier course.

I'm working on that Half Marathon that is about 5 weeks away.  I'm super duper nervous about it, but I have no time goal, I just want to finish!

My weight on the other hand I haven't had under control. I managed to go about a month and a half without weighing myself.  Last week was the first time and I was at 214, this week 216. 

Harumph! I know I went seriously crazy this summer baking, because I really hadn't done much in the spring. I ate really crappy on the weekends, but generally good on the weekdays.

I have abolished most of the crap about 3 weeks ago, because I have another military weigh in looming in about 4 weeks. FML!!! I know I'll pass my PT test but that weight thing is just a pain in the arse.

I feel happy and healthy, and I wish that was the most important right now. But I have to please the standard, and that's making me unhappy and stressed.

Wish me luck, hopefully I will check back before the half.

I've Lost That Loving Feeling

When I think about running I think about the scene from Top Gun when Tom Cruise sings You've Lost that Loving Feeling.

I still like running to some degree, but my love of sleeping is overpowering that love of running feeling. 

I find myself loving the fact that I have someone to run with on Tuesdays and Thursdays, even though we are hit and miss and are not always consistent. But I hate where we run. It's this hilly Tank Trail by the base I work at, and it's just hard. We run it for a reason, because it will help train for the City of Trees Half Marathon, which is a pretty hilly run.

I'm basically being a big fat whiney butt lately. I have a lot of stress in my life right now, and you would think going running would help, but lately I feel like curling into a tiny ball on my bed and just not going anywhere.

I need to find that euphoric feeling, especially since it's not really a chore anymore, like it was before trying to make military standards.  I figured once I reached that point where I didn't have to worry about getting booted out of the military, that it would be easy. But no, I seem to have fallen back into the rut where I make military weight, then I don't, stress about not making it... back and forth.

I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE!

I have to set a good example and not be that fat, lazy NCO. The fat, lazy Mom. 

I just need to add more hours in my day to fit everything in....

Thanks for letting me complain.

Avoiding the Scale

My jump back into working out has turned into just dipping my toes in.

I've only run a handful of times since I got done with Annual Training. Weird schedules, vacations, and holidays have just made it weird for me.

I'm also slightly unmotivated.

I signed up for the Pocatello Gap 10K on the 1st to hopefully put some giddy-up in my hitch with running. I have a plan for both the 10K and the Half Marathon. I keep telling myself, I've put the money forward I have to complete this.

I have decided to avoid the scale for a couple of months because I keep fluctuating between 208-213, and it's just discouraging. I'm having the hubby hide the scale until September, so that I don't dwell on that number.  I hope to let it refocus my train of thought and so I don't get discouraged.

I'm still determined to lose another 10-15 lbs by Cole's 2nd birthday in October, and it's very attainable if I can just get my butt in gear.

I'm just going to keep on trucking.